On any given day, at any hour, you will normally find my radio tuned to NPR
(National Public Radio)--I'm getting older and crankier, and I don't have
patience for a lot of commercial hoisted blabbering. However, I tuned to my
local sports jock station (WJFK 106.7 FM - "The Fan") early Wednesday
morning to see if I could catch some talk about "Teddy," of the Washington
Nationals' "Racing Presidents," who finally won a race after seven years of
5th inning racing for the Nats. However, what I got was a blast of
commentary about an article written by Michael Wilbon (ESPN) trashing
Washington, DC, as either being a "terrible" sports town, or not being a
sports town at all!
When I came home from work that evening, my radio
was blowing up with talk about Wilbon. I didn't listen too intently,
figuring it'd blow off. But a day later (today) The FAN is still talking
about it and it's really got Lavar Arrington back up. Well tonight, I
listened, and I'm damn hot about Wilbon's comments.
By him calling my
hometown a "terrible" sports town, I want to run out and kick him straight
in the eggs! By the time I got MY back up, ready to zing out this blog
post, I was ready to dig into a lot of statistical details to show "him" how
dead wrong he is. But I decided not to do that--it wouldn't make any
difference. So, being true to my handle ("DC Homer"), here's what I have to
say about Wilbon's comments: Opinions are like assholes--everybody's got
one, and they usually stink. Although he gets
paid pretty nicely for his
2-minute drill flatulance, I think he's a terrible sportscaster (if that's
what you call it). Okay--I'm done throwing aspersions.
Washington,
DC, is a unique city in this great nation of ours, but that uniqueness
doesn't make our sports franchises stand out from any other town. But I
think it's wholly unfair to blast DC as being a terrible sports town,
presumably because we have a lot of transient residents. But if you look at
it--seriously--every one of the "major" NFL markets that most folks will
absolutely declare ARE "great" sports towns (Dallas, New York, Los Angeles,
Miami, Chicago, Boston, Filthadelphia)--they, too, are "transient" cities.
Neither their populations nor their fan bases are 100% born and raised in
that town. No sir. It's clear to me that Wilbon's definition of a "sports"
town is based solely on the number (and recent) championships they've won.
But so what!?! Just because the Yankees have won a bunch of World Series,
that makes the whole of New York City a "sports town?" NYC could easily
have NOT won those championships, but would that still make NYC a sports
town because it's a BIG town?
So, exactly what defines a "sports
town?" Let's break it down:
- A large number of professional
championships?
- A city with a professional franchise from each major
sport?
- A large city?
- A small % of transient residents who root
for teams other than the home team?
- A large number of colleges with
(a lot) of D-I championships?
How many of those towns I mentioned above
have all of those characteristics? Ummmm....let's see.....NONE! Cities
like Boston and New York are rare. In fact, I'd say they are probably the
only true "sports towns" by Wilbon's definition. Who follows hockey in
Dallas? LA can't keep an NFL team, having lost it four times! How many
Lombardi Trophies reside in Philly? Montreal has won 23 Stanley Cups--the
closest contender is Toronto with 13 (Boston only has 6). Does that make
Montreal or Toronto "sports towns?"
HELL NO! I've been to Dallas, and
there are a LOT of Redskins fans there, also a lot of Raiders fans, and
Broncos fans! This holds true for any major city, even "minor" cities!
Washington, DC, is a great place to live--even with the traffic (no one's
going to tell me DC traffic is worse than New York, Boston, LA, Atlanta,
Chicago, or even Dallas--it's not). DC has all of the major sports teams,
and is surrounded by a lot of great colleges, who produce a BUNCH of
professional athletes! The high school sports programs here are top rate,
and everywhere you look you see DC residents engaged in all kinds of
sports--name one sport that you won't see played in the DC area on a regular
basis?? Wanna challenge DC to some bacci ball or lawn darts?
Bring it,
sumbitch!
Michael Wilbon: EAT MY SHORTS, and go back to whatever "sports
town" you came from! You spend years jocking Michael Jordan to get where
you are just so you can trash my hometown? Oh, and I heard, that with Fruit of the Loom
waistband elastic still stuck between his teeth, Wilbon has backed off on
his "terrile" comment, now saying: It's a pretty good sports town.but not
great..."
Whatever!
In the words of Vincent (Vinny) LaGuardia "Bag
of Donoughnuts" Gambini: "I'm through with DIS guy!"
